Empowering Your Neurodivergent Child: Navigating Rejection Sensitivity
Including a workbook for ADHD Kids
Hello Parents,
Have you ever seen your child’s face crumble over what seems like a small comment or a minor misunderstanding? These moments of intense emotion can leave you wondering, “Why does this hurt them so deeply?”
What you’re noticing might be Rejection Sensitivity, a powerful emotional reaction to real or perceived criticism or exclusion. For neurodivergent kids, including those with ADHD or autism, this heightened response is more common—and deeply rooted in their experiences and brain wiring.
But here’s the thing: your child isn’t “too sensitive” or “overreacting.” Their emotions are real, and with the right tools, they can build resilience and self-confidence. Let’s dive into how to help your child navigate these feelings.
How to Talk to Kids in a Supportive, Non-Critical Way
The words we use matter. With a few simple shifts in how we phrase feedback, we can help kids feel understood and empowered instead of criticized.
Use Positive and Neutral Language
Instead of: “Why didn’t you finish your homework?”
Try: “I noticed you got stuck on your homework. That makes sense because it’s tough to focus sometimes. Can I help with the tricky parts?”
Focus on Effort and Growth
Instead of: “You should have done better on this test.”
Try: “You worked so hard on this! What’s one thing we can work on together for next time?”
Avoid Criticizing Brain-Based Differences
Instead of: “Why are you always so forgetful?”
Try: “I notice it’s been hard to remember your chores lately. Let’s come up with a system to make it easier.”
Validate Their Feelings
Instead of: “Don’t get so upset about little things.”
Try: “I see this feels hard for you right now. It’s okay to feel upset.”
Model Self-Compassion
Show your child how to treat themselves with kindness by modeling it yourself.
Example: “I forgot to set a timer and burned the cookies. That feels frustrating, but it’s okay. Everyone makes mistakes, and we’ll try again next time!”
DOWNLOAD THE FREE WORKBOOK COLORING BOOK FOR YOUR CHILD ON RSD
Advocating for Your Child with Others
Rejection sensitivity can be misunderstood by teachers, relatives, or even friends. Here’s how to gently educate and advocate for your child:
Explain the Impact of Criticism
Help others understand how criticism might be experienced more intensely.
Example: “My child thrives when feedback is framed positively. Instead of focusing on mistakes, they respond better to ideas about what to try next time.”
Suggest Constructive Alternatives
Example: “Instead of saying, ‘You’re too distracted,’ it might help to say, ‘What can we do to make this easier for you to focus on?’”
Highlight Strengths
Encourage others to notice and affirm your child’s unique gifts.
Example: “Their creativity is one of their biggest strengths. Let’s make sure we’re supporting that while helping them with challenges.”
Teaching Kids About Their Feelings (Including RSD)
Empowering your child to name and understand their emotions is a big step toward managing them.
Build Emotional Vocabulary
Example: “It sounds like you felt really left out when that happened. Is that right?”
Explain Rejection Sensitivity Simply
Example: “Sometimes your brain makes it feel like people are upset with you, even if they aren’t. That’s called rejection sensitivity. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you—it means your feelings are very strong sometimes.”
Practice Self-Compassion Together
Example: “I know it hurt when you didn’t get invited. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It’s okay to feel sad. Let’s talk about something that makes you happy.”
Celebrating Mistakes as Growth Opportunities
Mistakes are an essential part of learning. Help your child reframe them as moments of growth:
Share Stories of Famous Failures
Talk about inventors, artists, or athletes who learned from mistakes.
Reframe Mistakes as Learning
Example: “What did we learn from this? How can we try differently next time?”
Create a ‘Mistake Jar’
Write mistakes on slips of paper and add them to a jar. Celebrate how much everyone has learned at the end of each month.
Final Thoughts
By validating their emotions and teaching them skills for navigating challenges, you’re laying the foundation for resilience, self-confidence, and compassion.
Let’s work together to celebrate your child’s strengths and empower them to face the world with courage and kindness.
Warmly,
Kristen McClure